Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Anger Eats Your Lunch
My effort on the new year goal of trying to be "better" has lead me to notice anger. My kid is working on an assignment that involves Biblical Literature and in reading the stories I see there has always been anger for thousands of years. It rarely leads to anything good.
I don't usually have a temper, but I do get mad. Mad at others. Mad at myself. What is interesting is that when I get mad at myself I have all the facts. However, when I am mad at others I can never know everything. Anytime we deal with other people there is a human on the other side who has their own stuff. Since we cannot do more than assume their back story, we fill in the blanks with our own ideas of what is going on. Usually these assumptions are skewed from reality and darken our lives (not theirs).
Experience has shown that relationships can trump nearly all adversarial situations when those involved want to find a solution. But anger and resentment feed the limitations and cuts off the path to mutually beneficial relationships.
To advise simple forgiveness of others is too Pollyanna. It is difficult to grant, and even harder to get accepted (or to accept from others). I just try to be aware, and not let anger eat my lunch.
When dealing with people there is never a dull moment, but the path to comfort as a person is one that is riddled with insecurities, fears, wonders. With time those are pushed aside by the realities of comfort with self.
Have A Great Day